Mary Crogan

It can be hard to summarize a person’s life, especially a woman like Mary Crogan. Perhaps the best way to describe who Mary was is to show what Mary did—and did well. Whether stranger or kin, Mary showed empathy with whomever she met. 

One time, Mary, a passionate pickleball player, noticed a newbie quietly leaving the court. Some members of her neighborhood league told the young player that all the nets were taken.

“She used to say, ‘Oh, they don’t have much patience for new players,’” said Mary’s mother, Jane. 

When Mary saw the player leave, she ran after him. Jane recalled Mary telling her afterward, “I ran across the pickleball court, trying to catch up with him. He got into his car. He was ready to take off, but I knocked on his window, and I said, ‘Where are you going?’”

The young man relayed to Mary what the league had said: that all the nets had been taken. According to Jane, Mary replied, “Oh, yes, there are. You come with me.” Two hours later, when Mary left the court, he was still playing.

That small act of kindness reflected the way Mary lived. After her sudden death at 44, her instinct to help others continued because Mary was a registered donor.

Mary had a sixth sense for others’ needs, like when she and her partner, Dre, reached out to a rather reclusive elderly neighbor. 

“(The old woman) might have seemed a little scary to people,” Jane said, “but Mary and Dre helped her with shoveling and brought her food. When Mary saw somebody not being treated very well, she did something to help them.” 

Mary’s love and empathy acted like a gravitational pull—people loved to be in her orbit—including her friends and teachers at Catholic Memorial High School. 

“(Catholic Memorial) sent us a little invitation saying they were going to have a Mass for her,” Jane said. “Some of her high school friends were there, and one fellow said, ‘Mary was the glue that held their high school group together,’ and the others just nodded.”

From strangers to the people who knew her best, Mary left her mark on everyone she knew. Her sudden death came as a shock because she had so much more life to give. 

“Dre called us up on the morning of February 7th and said that Mary was having trouble breathing,” Jane said. “They took her to St. Luke’s (in Milwaukee).”

Jane and her husband Douglas knew it was bad when they were taken down the long hallway. A doctor stood outside the family room, looking tired and sad. 

“He said she had just died,” Jane said. “Her upper respiratory system just gave out.

“Our family was devastated,” Jane said. “We have a very close family. Of course, we called everybody. They sent us, that same day, a huge bouquet of sunflowers that said, ‘These sunflowers remind us of Mary—bright and cheerful.’”

Not too long after Mary’s passing, Versiti called. Jane knew she was a tissue donor, but it’s something no one really thinks about until tragedy strikes. Versiti helped Jane through the donation process, so she understood the next steps.

“It was about an hour interview, and they asked a lot of questions,” Jane said. “But every few minutes, they’d ask,  ‘Are you okay? Can you go on now? Do you want us to call back? Is everything okay?’ They were just so kind and so compassionate. Versiti has stayed in contact with us since Mary’s death. It is so appreciated.”

Mary may not be playing pickleball or taking walks with Dre and their dog Leo, but she lives on in countless memories and everyday moments Jane will never forget—like the Mutts comic Jane sent Mary to make her laugh, or the mac and cheese the family still makes in her honor. Mary’s legacy also continues through everyone she helped through her cornea, bone, and tissue donations. Jane even had the chance to write to the two people who received Mary’s corneas.

Jane believes that if Mary knew how much her donations have helped others, she’d never stop smiling. Jane and Doug were certainly proud of her decision. 

“We’re so proud of her, and we have a much better understanding of the (donation) process,” Jane said. “Our whole family—we’re donors.”

Now, Jane and Doug tell everyone about Mary’s donation and the importance of becoming a donor. “I got a whole bunch of Donate Life bracelets,” Jane said. “I gave them to our family and friends.”

Months after Mary passed, Jane and Doug hosted a big celebration of life in their backyard. 

“People who hadn’t seen us came walking in with sad eyes,” Jane recalled. “We said, ‘We don’t want anybody to be sad today. This is a celebration of Mary. We’re not going to sit here and cry. We are going to share memories.’ ”

Perhaps that’s why when Jane reflects on the day she lost her daughter, she sees hope amid the sorrow. Even in death, Mary showed everyone who she had always been, a generous soul who found joy in helping others.

“Yes, it was a horrible day,” Jane said. “It was a bad day. But look what came out of it. Now some other people are going to be helped.”

Every 10 minutes, someone is added to the organ transplant waiting list.

Approximately 113,000 men, women, and children are waiting for life-saving organ transplants. One organ donor has the power to save up to eight lives and change the outcomes of someone’s world forever by giving them a second chance. Additionally, tissue donation can save and improve the lives of up to 75 people with their gifts. You can make a huge impact by registering as an organ and tissue donor.

Learn more about organ and tissue donation, or register as a donor at https://donatelifewisconsin.org.